


One Fish, Two Fish

by CallipygianGoldfish



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Aquariums, Established Relationship, Fish, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-13
Updated: 2015-11-13
Packaged: 2018-05-01 10:38:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5202716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallipygianGoldfish/pseuds/CallipygianGoldfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony's decided that he doesn't like so-called “nights out” with Captain America. Apparently, they should be educational, not involve alcohol, and be fun for all ages. Personally, he has his doubts that aquarium trips can be anything but dull and full of eels. Whatever happens, Tony's not allowed to liberate the otters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Fish, Two Fish

**Author's Note:**

  * For [soniclipstick (veriscence)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/veriscence/gifts).



“This,” Tony said, eyeing a large sea bass as it passed by his nose, ”is not the way I imagined my evening going. You know Rogers, when one normally says 'we're going out for the evening', most people think alcohol and sex, not morays and seahorses.” 

“Ah, so aren't you glad we're not most people?” Steve grinned sideways at him and threaded his fingers through Tony's as they moved forward in the large atrium that held the open ocean tank. Adoring the idea of a charity aquarium gala at night, Steve had, according to Tony, dragged him there kicking and screaming. Reality was a little different, as Tony had already found the biggest fish in the tank and named it Thor, pointed out an eel with a mouth the size of a dinner plate, and begged Steve to let him take home a jellyfish. Unsurprisingly, the answer was no.

“Sort of glad, sort of freaked out about whatever those things are?” Tony jabbed a finger towards a convex dome filled with tiny shoals. “I mean, what the hell is up with their faces?”

“They can't help it. Anyway, don't be mean to the guppies, I kinda like them. They remind me of you.” Grinning evilly at Tony, Steve perched on a bench near the front of the tank, before gazing at another small shoal swimming by. A large replica cast of a whale shark hung above them, illuminated only by the tank lights and the dusk outside, the outline of Brooklyn showing in the distance. “What do you wanna do next?”

Tony consulted the map. “Uhh, apparently they have sharks? And mammals too, we could look at the otters?”

“Let's go then, lead on.”

They stopped along the way to peer in various tanks, Tony squinting suspiciously at one with what looked like an extremely slimy blanket in it, with many, many tentacles.

“Hey look, octopus. Octopi? Octopuses? Something like that. Think we can take one back for Agent Agent?” Tony said over his shoulder at Steve, who was entranced by a nursery full of young tiger sharks. “He could have it in his office, it could make his ink and everything.”

“Somehow I don't think he'd appreciate the thought...” Steve answered idly. Despite Steve's words, schematics for mini-tanks on every floor of the Tower were already appearing in Tony's mind, animals matched to their most appropriate owner. Sam would have a family of rays, Clint would love the polka dot cowfish, and Wanda could look after an anemone with some clownfish. Tony was just starting to think about a suitable fish for Bruce when Steve stopped by a remarkably spiny aquarium.

“Huh,” Tony remarked as he looked in, face reflected in the dark glass. “It says it's a flower sea urchin. Apparently they're deadly or something. Hey, do you think Natasha would like one?” 

“If you want to give her more ways to get revenge on you for last weekend, be my guest. I'm pretty sure she's still mad at you for replacing all the contact names in her cell with 'Batman'.” Steve smiled indulgently at Tony, knowing full well he'd reject any idea that gave Natasha more ammunition in their constant prank war. Oh yes, Tony would build her a thousand different designs for her widow bites, and give her ample handgun prototypes, but one more thing that Natasha could use against him in daily life? No, that was too far.

Tony winced. “Point. I suppose we could always send her a butterfly fish, but where's the fun in that?”

“Indeed.” Steve slung an arm around Tony's waist as they wandered outside towards the outside enclosures, the walkway illuminated by candlelit jars and snowman themed fairy lights. 

A small group was fawning over the harbor seals, adoring the small fluffy pups as Tony and Steve approached the otters. There was a small girl stood to the side, slurping at her shark lollipop and glancing shyly at Steve. Tony tried not to give her away, but it was always entertaining watching Steve interact with children or animals. 

“You've got a fan,” he said, gently nudging Steve to notice her. He smiled and gave her a tiny wave, to which the child turned bright red and tried to hide under her older sister’s coat. They spent a few minutes talking to her and her father, before looking in on the family of otters.

Tony had to remind himself that, despite the warm fuzzy feelings he got when he looked at Steve, he was actually a grown adult in a relationship goddammit, not an infatuated teenager. But it was hard to remember this when seeing his boyfriend coo over the otters, even if said otters looked as if they'd rather be stuffed gloves than here right now.

“Aw, they look sad. Can we liberate them?” Tony asked.

“No.” Steve replied flatly. “They're probably just annoyed because they should be asleep right now.”

“Please? Why do they have decorations up here anyway, they're animals, they don't know it's Christmas.”

“It's a holiday thing.”

Tony face-palmed dramatically, groaning loudly enough to draw the stares of a few other visitors. “Steve, it's November, these things should hold off until at least the 1st.”

“Hey, some shops started with decorations before Halloween, remember that. Plus, you're the one who wanted a drink, there's a guy selling eggnog and chestnuts, want some?” 

“Eggnog doesn't fucking count, and you know it.”

“Language Tony, there are children around.”

“Yeah, like you don't swear like a fu-fudging sailor when you burn toast. Steeve, I wanna go see the jellyfish again, I'm freezing my balls off.” Steve smirked at that, and led the way back inside.

*

The trip to the conservation hall seemed too long, as Tony was quickly becoming fractious. Not because he didn't like the exhibit, it was pleasant enough, for marine enthusiasts and apparently Steve too. It was just that Tony had plans for the beautiful booty tonight okay? And the fish clearly didn't appreciate the view. Their first weekend off with no active mission or Avenger facility business, and Steve wanted to spend it adoring the fucking eels. For the third time.

“C'mon Steve, once you've seen one angelfish fish, you've seen them all, right?” Arms stretched above his head, Tony tried to get settled on the awkward plastic chairs next to the tank glass. Most of the other guests had gone home an hour ago, and it was getting increasingly hard for Tony to not check his watch every five minutes. There wasn't even a martini bar.

“Just a bit longer,” Steve answered absently. “Look at you, beauty!” He gazed in amazement at the large ray passing over his head, wings moving just the slightest to control its path in the artificial current. The entire walkway was surrounded by water, a domed roof allowing an unobstructed view of the water.

Tony stared at Steve in dismay. “I'll get you a ray, Cap. A really nice one. Hell, what about a whole tank? Hey, Steve, you want an aquarium?” It couldn't be that hard to convert a floor of the Tower into an aquarium, right? Maybe put in a little disco display, change it up a bit, some wave action and voilà. “A really big one, one with a hundred fish. A thousand. Huh, I wonder how big a tank you'd have to have for a million fish...”

“Mhmm, that's nice Tony.” Steve wandered down the walkway some more, and Tony just shuffled after him in his chair, feet scraping along the floor until Steve came to a stop.

“Like a really big one. With lasers. Laser fish.” Tony prodded the glass above his head with a finger, then poked Steve, who didn't even twitch. “Can we keep a harbor seal in the penthouse do you think? It could take your side of the bed.”

Steve finally started to frown. “Tony, what on earth are you talking about?” 

At no reply from Tony, Steve looked down to see him pouting in front of the glass, to the extent that Steve half expected him to start blowing raspberries at the fish. “Ah. Tony, I'm sorry, I honestly thought you were enjoying this. You really hate fish, don't you? This was a bad date idea.” 

“I don't hate fish,” he protested mulishly, hating how he sounded. He hurriedly uncrossed his arms. “And whoever said this was a date? All we've done is stare at slimy things with tails. And some without.” He suppressed a shudder at the memory of the moray's teeth and gaping jaw. There were some things in the ocean that were meant to be left in the ocean.

Steve narrowed his eyes at Tony, who just continued to glare at the shark.

“Oh my gosh,” Steve studied him hard, and looked as if he was trying hard not to start grinning. “You're jealous. You don't actually hate this, you're just jealous.”

“Am not!” The rebuttal escaped Tony's mouth before he even realized it, making him bite his lip and avoid any further protest. But try hard as he might, Tony just couldn't escape the feeling of being an attention whore of a five year old. Oh well, he had the attention span of one, might as well go all the way.

“Are too! You're annoyed because I'm talking to the fish, and not you.” Lips turning up in amusement, Steve stepped into Tony's arms and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Well then love, I'm sorry. You're still the cutest chordate I know. Come look at the clownfish with me and I'll hold your hand the whole way?” 

Still looking at the tank and ignoring Steve's wriggling fingers, Tony considered his request before he finally sniffed and nodded, allowing himself to be hugged. A butterfly fish went by behind the couple in each other’s arms, both of them bathed in the soft blue light.

“Fine. But we're not looking at the eels again, they creep me out. And you are so going to make it up to me tonight.”

“Deal.” Brushing a chaste kiss over Tony's lips, Steve smiled and hooked an arm through Tony's. “C'mon, I'm sure they have some sort of vaguely technical thing to entertain you with. Or at the very least, I'll get you a plushy.”

*

Twenty minutes later, stuffed otter under his arm, Tony concluded that fish weren't that bad after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! :D Come visit me on tumblr? My username is exactly the same, callipygiangoldfish.tumblr.com


End file.
